Alan Chong

我們每一個人的背後都有一個張開雙翼的天使保護我們。我們遇到的災難越強大，他的羽翼就越豐厚、越強壯。萬一我們失去生命，他才會有力氣抱起我們飛上天堂。然後，我們也會變成天使，站在別人的身後。

20‧30‧40的擇偶條件

當你問20歲的女孩擇偶條件。她們會跟你說，首要條件一定要英俊瀟灑，最好是可以像《浪漫滿屋》的RAIN一樣。那如果你沒有俊臉的話，只要有錢就可以了。20歲的女孩總是很單純，所想的事情也很簡單，只要眼睛所看到的，手所摸到的，就是一切。如果沒有俊臉又沒有錢的話就免談了。

可是當你問30歲的女孩時，她們會跟你說，首要條件你必須有成熟的思想。如果不成熟，那一定要有穩定的事業，如果你不成熟又沒有穩定的事業，那至少也有一張好看的文憑，要不然來點幽默風趣。30歲的女孩，要做很多決定，情緒貧窮而危險，是一個容易受到驚嚇的階段，所以心理上的安全感是最重要的。如果你什麼都沒有就免談了。

但是，當你問40歲的女人擇偶條件，她們會跟你說，你最好是老實可靠的男人，因為40歲的女人不必靠你的財氣、名氣來滿足他們。40歲的女人不會三更半夜搖你起來，問你：“你覺得我怎樣？”她們不會在意你的想法。她們知道自己是誰，要什麼，想什麼，所以她們只要一個呆呆頭腦但忠心于她們的男人。

如果你連這樣的條件也沒有，男人，祝你好運！

The Carpenter’s House

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor
of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family.

He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by.
The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.

When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter.  "This is your house," he said, "my gift to you."

What a shock!  What a shame!  If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well.

So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized that we would have done it differently.

Think of yourself as the carpenter. Think about your house. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Build wisely. It is the only life you will ever build. Even if you live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity. The plaque on the wall says, "Life is a do-it-yourself project." Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the choices you make today.

Author Unknown 

The Mountain Story

A son and his father were walking on the mountains.
Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain:
"AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"
He receives the answer: "Who are you?"
Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"
He receives the answer: "Coward!"
He looks to his father and asks: "What’s going on?"
The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention."
And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!"
The voice answers: "I admire you!"
Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"
The voice answers: "You are a champion!"
The boy is surprised, but does not understand.
Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.
It gives you back everything you say or do.
Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.
If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.
If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.
This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life;
Life will give you back everything you have given to it."
YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT’S A REFLECTION OF YOU!

Author Unknown               

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, “Public Utilities Board.” There was silence. She repeated, “PUB.” There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady’s voice, “Oh, so this is PUB.Sorry , I got the number from my Husband’s pocket but I do not know whose
number it is.”

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just “hello” instead of “PUB”.

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NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, “Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?”
The father-in-law answered in a smile, “Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.”

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

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CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested “I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.” The SDU officer said, “Your requirements, please.” “Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my
leisure hour, if I don’t go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.” The officer listened carefully and replied, “I understand you need television.”

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

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NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that “It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person’s character.”

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..

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RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that “A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation.” Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,”Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school.” On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, “Luckily you married me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker.” She answered ,”You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you.”

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It’s like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

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PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man’s meat could be another man’s poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, “Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?”Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, “The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?” Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, “How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman.”
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, “Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you.” Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..

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BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy’s hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy’s hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, ” Daddy,I’m sorry about your truck.” Then he asked, “but when are my fingers going to grow back?” The father went home & committed
suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can’t. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

终于做了这个决定

别人怎么说我不理

只要你也一样的肯定

我愿意天涯海角都随你去

我知道一切不容易

我的心一直温习说服自己

最怕你忽然说要放弃

爱真的需要勇气 来面对流言蜚语

只要你一个眼神肯定 我爱你的意义（我的爱就有意义）

我们都需要勇气 去相信会在一起

人潮拥挤我能感觉你 放在我手心

你的真心

如果我的坚强任性

会不小心伤害了你

你能不能温柔提醒

我虽然心太急 更害怕错过你

when u see in oversea, the youngster there can have lots of fun, they have wild party, they go travel in group, they have One Night Stand, but in Malaysia, hell with that, we have to wrok work work work work work  for the future, save save save for future….This is how we are taught!

Why should we waste our time saving for future? if tomoro is the end of the world?

Then, we will regret forever…..

作者：張曼娟

文章：《百年相思》與愛情錯身

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與愛情錯身 　　

你聽見我嗎？那愈走愈遠的你的背影。 　　

我在心中呼喚你，一種虔誠的情緒。 　　

我將不再愛你 　　

如果不能，不能愛全部的你，我只得遠遠地離開。如果不能愛你的全部，我將不再愛你。 　　

因為不完整的愛，會撕裂我們的靈魂；啃噬我們的神經。 　　

終告，支離破碎。 　　

噴嚏 　　

毫無防備地，我打了一個噴嚏。這是不是，你隔著茫茫流動的人海，傳遞思念的訊息？ 　　

有點陽光，照耀著從身體裡竄出的透明顆粒，細微地，散進空氣裡，每一顆都鐫著你的名字，乘風而去。 　　

我停下手邊的工作，揣度你流浪的方向；全心全意地準備，下一個噴嚏。 　　我◇你 　　

說出這三個字，幾乎在同時，誰也不肯延宕。縱然是無星無月的沉夜，我們都聽見，再清晰不過。 　　

◇，此後，我們竟在生活中失去了這個字。努力尋找類似的字彙來替代：喜歡、心怡、眷戀、癡迷、難捨……等等。因為太珍貴，再不願重複，遂在今生失去了這字。 　　

久了，◇，已在歲月裡湮沒，只剩下最真實的– 　　

我。 　　

你。 　　

割 　　

趺坐在一大疊塵封書籍前，翻動尋找可用的資料。 　　

透明的修長花器裡，養著幾枝新鮮玫瑰。 　　

突然，一本書的扉頁邊緣，尖利如同薄刃，割過我的手指。 　　遲疑著，我看見扉頁上，你的簽名。或許已在黑暗中，等待了上千的日子，為的是此刻？血珠自傷口滾出來，疼痛的感覺甦醒。 　　

我捏住傷口，指尖雪白麻澀。 　　

似有若無的玫瑰芳香裡，思索著，這些年來，我是否也在無意中割你？或許不只一次？ 　　

那時的你，如何止血？怎樣使傷口癒合？ 　　

距離 　　

兩個人。 　　

只有兩個人。毫無掛礙的在一起，緊密偎依，好近好近的距離。 　　

只有兩個人。找不到溝通的頻道，各自營築，好遠好遠的距離。 　　

兩個人之間，是最短的；也是最長的距離。 　　

你聽見我嗎 　　

比預定時間稍晚才抵達擁擠的會場，因為一路上都與自己爭戰：去；或不去？ 　　我來了，因為你會在。儘管事情仍然艱難：卻多了些盼望。 　　

所有的人聲笑語都化為煙氣騰騰。炙紅的面容，亢奮的音調，費力地想讓別人看見或聽見；我在角落裡靜靜看著，以及聽著。 　　

忽然，看見了你，隔著許多浮動的；像魚一般的人群。你正微俯頭，與一位年長婦人談話，我所熟悉地、專注地側影。而後，你走得更遠，和人握手寒暄。我的耳鼓充滿各式各樣的聲音，匯流成大海的波浪。 　　

我嘗試呼喚你；並不像在夢裡那樣急切，只是溫柔地叫你的名字，在心中。 　　

讓我的心，和你的心，在原始的混沌蒼茫中互相找尋，而後依靠。 　　你聽見我嗎？那愈走愈遠的你的背影。 　　

我在心中呼喚你，一種虔誠的情緒。 　　

你停下來了，不被什麼人耽擱，逕自停住，並且轉身。於是，你響應了我的呼喚，用眼睛說。 　　

嗨！ 　　

你抿住唇畔忍不住的笑，從那一頭筆直地走過來。所有的聲音都呈現了真空的靜寂。只有我們心靈的對話。 　　

你遲到了。 　　

是的。可是，我終究來了。 　　

你來了。這樣很好。 　　

滄桑 　　

朋友們都說，我的稚氣已被一種成熟的冷靜取代。 　　

這是含蓄的說法，其實是老了吧！ 　　

你這幾年來順心遂意，未經坎坷銷磨，怎麼能老了？朋友不以為然地。 　　

他們並不知道，愛上你，便是生命裡的滄桑。 　　

我只能毫無選擇地，漸漸老去。 　　

結婚 　　

讓我們結婚吧。假若你說。 　　

六月的薔薇恣意綻放了滿架，是適於婚禮的季節。 　　

假若你說了這句話，我只能應允做一個安靜而美麗的新娘，垂拖在裙襬下的層層長紗，潔白似雪，不染塵埃。 　　

站立在聖壇前，說：我願意。 　　

你也說：我願意。 　　

然後，你將戒指套住你的新娘；而套住我的中指的，是我的新郎。 　　

同年、同月、同日，同一個時段，城的這一端與那一端的教堂。 　　

我們、分別、結婚、了。

～　完　～